Dr. Pooja Lakshmin: Orgasmic Meditation & Sex Life Hacking

VIDEO | Dave Asprey

2018-01-27 10:01:54.258 | Orgasmic Meditation & Sex Life Hacking

00:00:00 > You're listening to episode 54 a bulletproof executive radio with Dave Asprey today I'm interviewing Pooja Lakshmin chief science officer at one taste if you've heard my talk about orgasms you can see why I've been really excited about the show because pooja is a biohacker focused on orgasms which is way cool I'm also excited because pooja went to the same school I did too at the University of Pennsylvania and studied neuroscience and has been a working psychiatrist at Stanford and she experienced something called orgasmic meditation which Nicole dey Doan has pioneered and started really working on it to the point that today she's at Rutgers working with dr. Barry Komisarek studying the sensory map of the limbic system to identify the specific areas of the brain that are targeted by this type

00:01:02 > of orgasmic meditation now how could I resist interviewing a pooja welcome to the show thanks for having me it is my pleasure so to speak now what is orgasmic meditation how is this different from the normal orgasms that people have in the bedroom sure so orgasmic meditation is it's a 15-minute practice where a stroker typically a man strokes the upper left-hand quadrant of a woman's clitoris and there's no goal it's a goalless practice so your only job as the stroker and as the stro key is to feel sensation in your body so it's basically um using orgasm as a way to train the bait the brain and the nervous system to feel sensation now I can see how this might be really fun for

00:02:03 > a woman I could even see how it might be a lot of fun for a man but certainly we're not talking about sex at all here what does it do for women specifically versus men like what are the what is the woman get out of this let's we'll start there and talk about kind of what each partner gets sure yeah but I mean so really what it does and I can talk about my own experience um with orgasmic meditation I started doing the practice I guess it's been about a year and a half ago um and for me it was like I'm a physician you know so I'd been trained like I went through medical school like it's like my cortex is huge like the part of my brain is like thinking and judging you know to get through medical school to become a doctor it's like you have to have a really big vortex and like you don't the part of your brain that actually has you connect with people your limbic system which is the full one-third of the brain that has you it's like your intuition right it's the part that has you be able

00:03:04 > to read people and um it's like experiential memory all those things that normally if you're someone that's like on this straight and narrow path um you don't really give much credence to it so there's that and then it's also for me it was like um I was a woman you know I was a physician I was married actually at the time I got divorced and I I didn't know how to feel pleasure I mean I didn't actually know how to feel anything because I was thinking so much so what orgasmic meditation did for me was actually enable me to go into my body which was was totally scary I mean it was terrifying I just it was awful um and actually feel pleasure I mean feel pain you know because I think you actually the places in the brain that are activated during pleasure are actually the same places that are activated during pain and what we see with orgasm which what we're finding at Rutgers is that these areas in the brain

00:04:06 > are are the same so it's like you can't just um you can't only feel good you have to feel good and the bad and what this practice does is it really enables women to fully be able to receive pleasure yeah you said something pretty interesting there first i have to tweet this you know I have a really big cortex like like that that is the coolest like like brag I've ever heard so I might even have to borrow that from you sometime now you also said that you didn't know how to feel all right I totally resonate with that because when I was about 30 I did some personal growth thing and like after three days of this guy like this is the stupidest thing ever as someone pointed out does your stomach feel different and like yeah there's a different feeling in there and like yeah that's called fear I'm like really is that what it's like I truly was disconnected from like the signals my body was sending me and I've since trained myself differently but I think the average person listening to this

00:05:08 > right now may not quite believe or understand the concept of being disconnected from your feelings like that like can you go into a little bit more as to number one what what does that really mean and number two why is stroking the side of the clitoris going to fix that totally yeah I mean it seems crazy you know to any rational person it seems completely weird um and there's a couple different components so it's like um the nervous system actually has a voluntary component and an involuntary component so when you hear people talking about your parasympathetic and your sympathetic nervous systems that's actually your involuntary it's a visceral nervous system so it's the nerves that are innervating like your stomach or your heart or your gut you know all of these involuntary components your genitals and we think really that sensation you know is feeling what's going on in your body it's actually the same thing feeling your own internal

00:06:09 > sensations enables you to then train that part of your nervous system so then you can feel external sensation you can feel other people as well and and that's what we mean by training limbic capacity being able to feel what's going on in your own body and then feel what's going on with someone else um and the way that we're sort of disconnected from it is essentially you know you have this big part of your brain the neocortex that is we call it um the self-referential part of the brain so Norman favre's research group out of the University of Toronto has done a ton of work on mindfulness meditation and they found that people that have a mindfulness practice actually spend more time in their limbic system in their experiential brain versus the narrative brain which is your cortex so that actually turns off when you're meditating so like all of this constant um worrying or judging or like thinking

00:07:13 > about the future you know the stock market or like real estate or what you're going to make for dinner all these things that sort of turns off and then you you're in the part of your brain and your nervous system that actually has you be able to feel fear or feel um that hey like my my finger is warm or my genitals are tingly and things like that so the fear and desire part of the brain your country's actor yeah okay and it's your your research is showing that those parts of the brain are either under exercise are underdeveloped in the Western world is that kind of the direction you're heading well you know that's what I think because what happens is that um I think in the Western world people really let me we have a lot of conditioning and you know Nicole talks about this as well we have this conditioning that from an early age sex is bad you know you don't talk to sex you don't um you don't really you try not to think about it even though it's all everyone can think

00:08:15 > about but you know you don't talk about it whatever but it's actually a huge part of our nervous system you know and it's actually something that's such a huge component the somatosensory cortex or the area of the brain that is connected to the genitals is also connected to the limbic system so when your genitals are stimulated your limbic system gets stimulated and when we don't when we sort of have trained ourselves not to think about these things it's actually inhibiting our connection to other people as well know is that the same for men and women so it's a good question and one of the things that we're actually looking at with this we're actually running male orgasm study so this the summer we were running women so we had women coming into the MRI so the fMRI having orgasms actually went in the scanner a couple weeks ago with our master stroker Ken Blackman and had two orgasms in the MRI

00:09:16 > which is like I must have the best job ever I have to say yeah it was it was pretty I I actually it was interesting for me because like for the first time I understood what men feel like like I had so much performance anxiety you know give this specific task but yes now raksha's we're going to be starting studies looking at men and looking at what happens when men are stroking their genitals looking at prostate stimulation your we throw stimulation male orgasm because the thing is that um people don't know i mean there's actually only two labs in the world that are studying orgasm our lab at Rutgers and then another lab in the Netherlands um so it's like we're just starting to learn about this which is crazy because it's I mean this is like sex this is everyone does it but yeah what we're just starting to learn about it and my thought and what we know so far is that um men and women actually are a lot more

00:10:18 > similar than they are different in terms of the brain what if you look at like what happens in utero near the formation of the genitals and all like they come from the same original nervous system tissue and they differentiate differently but going back to when the nervous system is wired you'd think there's going to be some commonality there but that little testosterone difference it isn't neurological necessarily right mmhmm yeah and I think what also happens is that men have different sort of conditioning or psychological conditioning than women do so men are taught to experience sex in a certain way you know so if you look at if a man isn't satisfied with his partner with the sex life typically he turns to porn which is you know generally some watching someone else experience orgasm and then getting turned on by that whereas women if they're not satisfied typically they turn two vibrators or you know a

00:11:21 > mechanical device so so women are actually wanting direct stimulation whereas men are getting turned on by watching someone else in orgasm it isn't that usually followed by direct stimulation to it it's sort of like are you aroused in your head or are you aroused you know in your pants I guess and it's funny one of the studies that that what we found is that actually just thinking about sex or thinking about a neurotic situation actually activates the same part of your brain so it activates the genital cortex and it activates the limbic structures which is which is interesting there was a study i came across recently looking at neurological activation when men and women looked at different types of sex and they very surprisingly in this study found that women tended to get turned on by pretty much any kind of sex like it didn't really matter animals having sexy I think that's vaguely sexy you know guys having sex with each other that's vaguely sexy women that's vaguely sexy you know a table that's vaguely sect

00:12:23 > like but pretty much anything that was vaguely sexy was was like okay like there's something there whereas guys were much more preferential at least when they were watching but it could be different for thinking or hearing or or other senses like that is that a part of what part of what you look at our part of what you've come across in your research yeah I think it's interesting because um women I think are taught like not to be so think it's bad if you're aroused so I think I actually looked at that study so women actually are more easily aroused but then if you ask women will say like no I'm not turned on I'm not arouse and they sort of convert it into like anger or irritation or they themselves actually feel the pleasure whereas um men men you know have these different preferences but then they'll actually say like yeah I'm aroused so so we haven't actually looked that yet and that's an interesting topic yeah I'm intrigued to hear kind of where

00:13:24 > that ends up but you're also further down the path because you're looking at orgasm specifically now the tantric equations that I studied when i did my n equals 1 experiment said that four guys anyway that you should limit your orgasm to once a month and no more than I think no more than an hour it might have been no more than a half hour if you want to maintain your health like a half hour orgasm for a guy is that is that legit I've never seen anything like that before but um you know there's actually been research that says um the more frequent men ejaculate the lower incidence of prostate cancer yep so I don't know about this tantric thing well I i can tell you i don't have any idea how it would be possible for you to measure the length of your own orgasm beyond like a little while but i know from personal experience that eight and a half minutes was very doable and it was it's actually painful like unit you

00:14:26 > can't ejaculate as a guy for eight and half minutes that wouldn't work but physical convulsions that are pleasurable for a while aren't that pleasurable when you're done to the point that like i had to consciously like stop and like start breathing exercises just to like quit like my abs hard sort of things not to get like into TMI land but I was kind of shocked that this sort of thing was was possible and I also questioned those prostate studies around cancer because I don't know if they're looking at frequency of sex versus frequency of ejaculation and you know if you don't exactly but you have sex is that a different outcome because certainly fluids move around in there I don't know the answer to that but I can certainly say that my physical energy level went up a lot when I became conscious that you know I am more tired for a day or two after I ejaculate versus just have really good sex right well what we do know so there's a couple things um so the difference between

00:15:27 > climax versus orgasm and and one of the things that we teach with um with orgasmic meditation is that there's this huge orgasm is a huge a broad event so climax is just one piece of it climax being either ejaculation or sort of like going over this sharp cliff whereas you can just take that whole just from the start of stimulation to the end of climax there's this whole spectrum and during climax specifically like when you ejaculate you have this huge release of dopamine in the brain so the part of the brain that gets activated the nucleus accumbens releases dopamine and dopamine is pleasure its reward it's you know um if you take a drug like cocaine or something that releases dopamine so and you get this hangover like you get you get this huge high and then you crash so you know that's sort of that could explain why after ejaculation you sort of get this energy dump versus if you're just

00:16:31 > experiencing orgasm you're able to build that sensation and like build your capacity and and sort of expand its more expansive and we think that might be related to oxytocin and that's something that we're looking at um because we know that during orgasm oxytocin is released in the brain so that's another big piece of it it certainly oxytocin has a lot to do with happiness in men and women right going to dopamine though dopamine is a neurotransmitter kind of a stimulatory one I've read a few theoretical pieces that say that frequent exposure to porn or even like video games any sort of really stimulatory activity you consistently like pushes on your dopamine and they're theorizing things like dopamine resistance like if you watch porn and you know masturbate all the time that literally one reason people especially guys get attracted to more and more bizarre foreign over time is potentially dopamine resistance and

00:17:32 > is that something that you've come across in your research or something that you think might be legit or is this just like Grambling's that I came across well figuring out whether I should try my experiment no I mean I think that that's accurate dopamine is linked to addiction so basically um when you do any sort of super pleasurable or like risky activity you get this surge of dopamine but your receptors become tolerant to it so you keep meeting more and more higher and higher levels don't mean to get the same effect like the same feeling um so and that's that's how addiction happens tolerance and then and then we take it away you get withdrawal so really what all does is it's actually a way to train your attention so that you can receive lighter and lighter pressure like lighter and lighter strokes or um

00:18:33 > lighter and lighter you don't need as much craziness in sex or like you don't need as much like you don't need all the sex toys and like all the laundry ray and all that stuff it's just actually like you take it down to the bare bones and like it feels just like it feels even better because you're so sensitive so you sort of hack your nervous system sensitivity so that you know the act of sexes is maybe simpler but or maybe less vigorous you could say but your pleasures much hired because you've turned on your nervous system all the way exactly so you're actually you can feel so much more so that even you know um even just like even like getting a text message it's like hey how are you like you feel that in your pussy you know like it doesn't have to be dirty like if you're connected to that person like you feel it and like you're already there wow so you've just got like pretty

00:19:35 > much everyone who's listening to go all right I want to do this including i would say every guy because like that's an enormous amount of power to put in a guy's hands like you know it i think that that's that's something that guys would get out of of bringing this into the relationship is just that connection with a woman because you know there's a reason that women fake orgasms because guys like to know that the women had an orgasm or just that the guys like to know that they've aroused you know the women there with so to know that this increases that level of arousal so a simple thing that's not even sex is you know become sexy I think that that generally guys like more routine sexy things throughout the day than women I've even seen studies about that but if it kind of equalizes the playing field there which it sounds like it might like that could do interesting things for a relationship I haven't tried this you know particular like defined step practice but certainly I'm familiar with it so is that the case I mean does it bring relationships closer together like

00:20:36 > what does it do yeah absolutely and I think it all stems from this limbic from the limbic system from a limbic connection really because what it does is it um when you stroke your partner your nervous system becomes in tune with with hers and you find that you're able to it I mean essentially what the limbic system is it's sort of like this under-the-radar connection where you don't even actually have to be in the same room you don't even have to be touching each other but you can feel each other and evolutionarily I mean that's what humans have developed like we've developed this huge part of our brain to do that you know and their studies looking at like babies and mothers and how when um you know the baby's taken away from the mother the heart rate changes and then when you bring them back together at a heart rate stabilizes and so essentially it's like you you train your brain to be in tune with your partners and then you have this direct communication that doesn't

00:21:38 > really neat like it doesn't need the higher cortical function like you can sort of skip the cortex and just communicate between involuntary so you said you can feel each other when you're in different rooms do you know is that like a chemical signaling magnetic like what's the mechanism of the communication there well yeah I mean that's a good question I think that it's sensation based so what during ohm what happens is you go on this 15 minute journey right you stroking you you feel all these sensations and it encodes in your brain the limbic system encodes experiential memory so its memory we're so like um you know if you're scuba diving and you think about it again you know you can feel the water you can see all the colors it's something that's very experiential same thing was um it's the part of your brain that has you feel all these sensations

00:22:39 > so then when you're communicating you're already in that state you've already had that connection with your partner so you're able to just go back into it well that's that's amazing all right is heart rate variability something you track so that's yeah that's a great question that's something that we actually are wanting to look at because it's it's linked with parasympathetic drive vagal tone and during orgasm we know that the parasympathetic and the sympathetic nervous systems are both activated and it that's rare in human physiology for both to be activated simultaneously the reason I ask is that I've I'm an advisor to the HeartMath Institute and I've trained myself I'm a certified coach and heart rate variability training and I have an appt the bulletproof HRV sense on the iphone that works with a polar strap so I more aware of my sympathetic versus parasympathetic state and the average bear and one of the things that that let me a have enough control to not

00:23:41 > have ejaculations when I didn't want to but also when I did to have multiple minute male orgasms was I think relative fine-tuned control of my heart rate variability like I was literally using the techniques that consciously raised heart rate variability in order to like control the nervous system in some way it would be really interesting potentially to look at heart rate variability in in both partners before and after and to do a comparison between them because there is data that shows that heart rate variability between two people or between like a person who is going to ride a horse in the horse that they will synchronize like the HRV will synchronize but not the heart rates the number of beats minute and that this is detectable even at a distance and the theory they have is that it's magnetic but I'm not sure its magnetic but we can show that this happens sometimes we don't know why and there's got to be a sexual connection in there too somewhere I just don't know what it is so please do more research on that because I want to know yeah that's

00:24:43 > great that you mentioned actually my the head of our lab dr. Barry komisarek he he did his own I don't know I wonder if he'll be okay with me talking about this but I'll just do it anyway oh he hooks himself up to a polygraph while he was he did this one was younger um when who's having sex and during climax he found that the his heart rate matched up with his partners during climax yes his heart rate or his heart rate variability it just the rate his heart rate interesting there's so much interesting biohacking to be done around our own sex here okay why the left side you guys must have quantified left versus right yeah so um actually it's interesting because you know the right side of the brain does more emotions so the thought is that you're stroking the left side and maybe um the right side becomes of the brain becomes more activated but we actually you know we're just starting to

00:25:45 > look at the different the mapping of the female genitals and we're just starting to look at the you know the clitoris versus the vagina versus the cervix so all these things are still up for debate but when Nicole you know really kind of um research the practice that was the side that they found had the most sensation really I'm actually going to turn a light on because it's really dark yeah that's a great idea I was just going to suggest that for audio listeners it doesn't matter but if you're watching this on youtube it's good to be able to see both of us you must be on the East Coast I'm uh I'm in Canada it's getting a little dark here just cuz im so far north but not that dark can watch the sunset too so yeah thanks for making this we can see you so what do guys get out of this I mean we've talked about a little bit like the connection with a partner but you know I'm assuming sometimes they're

00:26:46 > still fully dressed so what what's the male angle on this because you've done it enough times and you must have like some training or some kind of like you know what's in it for you kind of sales pitch well so that the man is totally dressed so the only art clothing that's removed in the women's pants the man is completely dressed um and we say you know when you're owning it is you have a 15 minute practice and then if you're gonna if you're going to have sex or if you're going to do something else you close the container and then you you do sex afterwards it's not oming isn't foreplay um and in terms of what the men get out of it I mean they really get all the same benefits as women and I know it seems it seems like that doesn't make sense um but it does I mean what we see is that men when they start stroking they actually start to feel the same sensations in their body that the women feel so first we'll say like oh I felt

00:27:47 > some heat on my finger or I felt this jolt of electricity that went up my arm and then as their body turns on more and more they start to experience sensation even in their genitals as well I mean sometimes men um when they're stroking will feel genital orgasm at the same time so um they get that you know they get that pleasure and then they also get the ability to really feel women so they can communicate in that same way that women do so like we talked about in the beginning kind of um the limbic system and intuition you know like we say like women's intuition men are able to feel that so they don't have to kind of navigate a woman's cortex as much you're saying intuition around around providing the woman an orgasm or you talking just intuition in general just in general I'm like relationship wise and

00:28:48 > and you know um I think the other thing that the practice does is it connects people to their desire so like I can say for me um before I started during the practice I was very much like the kind of person that just did everything I was supposed to do you know like it didn't really matter what I wanted to do but like I had to get straight A's and I had to go to an Ivy League school and I had to become a doctor and you know but once you strip dude wants to start doing this practice it's like all that goes away and you can act like what do I really want to do oh I want to study orgasm and you find your mission and you you pay more attention to the subtle things in life you're saying exactly and then men find that as well just as much as women so there's no question in my mind that intuition can be trained and I've never heard of training and tuition this way but it's really intriguing because even when I work with like bulletproof executive coaching clients it's one of the most precious skills and you can increase intelligence with various ways

00:29:49 > you can increase mitochondrial function which improves your sex life and your intelligence like you can you can do these things but intuition is one of the most precious things that you know the world's top investors have and when you ask them they're not just numbers guys their numbers plus gut and this practice increases in tuition in men and women yeah and it's what i like to say actually it's that um because we know that mindfulness like meditation trains that part of the brain and essentially what orgasm does so if you add orgasm to mindfulness is it takes you into your involuntary right and it activates those same parts of the brain um so it's sort of like it's kind of like meditation on speed because it just a perfect it works faster like it heats up your system you know because you're dealing with desire you're dealing with sex all these things and um it's it does I mean it trains your intuition and it trains the part of your nervous system that has you be able to respond quickly um and succinctly

00:30:54 > without having to think about things looking back on it I'm I'm just thinking that the time times when I was really doing my own set of experiments for about a year about that yeah I think it there is a meditative quality to that like I don't know that you can do a practice like this without entering somewhat of an an altered less thinking state and that that's very perceptive did you quantify intuition like it is there a way of saying it measured it by fifty two percent well I mean we haven't really done that and then to be honest when we say intuition I mean how do you my thought is that that means um you know visceral sensation or visceral capacity so feeling your own involuntary that that's how I define intuition um the second tuition appears to come from I mean I think there's debate over that you could say but yeah that there was a guy mark divine and a former Navy SEAL

00:31:57 > commander who had on the pod the podcast to run sealfit just an amazing guy and one of the things that that experienced military guys will tell you is that you know when you're out in the field if someone has you in their sights you know it like it doesn't matter if there are hundred yards away you know it you feel a warm sensation like like somehow you know and so I asked him flat out like is this BS and you just laughed said no like it's a well known phenomena we don't know why but it's there and that's one of those really concrete examples of intuition you don't know why you know it but you know it and it can save your life so if we assume intuition is a real thing the visceral system there which you can measure even if someone's eyes are on the back of your head it changes things I would love to see more around intuition and sex I think there could be a huge amount of research to be done there I just I guess that how do you quantify it in the first place is the really hard thing but it would it might be one of the more important things you would discover out of this practice or

00:33:00 > other orgasm research yeah absolutely I'm one of the things that I'm really interested in is and one way to measure it may be looking at cuz we know that if you use a certain part of the brain it gets more blood flow so all these areas of the brain that get activated during or they get a ton of blood flow so does it so does the genital somatosensory cortex get bigger as you do this practice and as you have more orgasms and and therefore do those areas of the brain eret limbic system does it get bigger so so that's something that we're interested in looking at okay here's a badass experiment idea you guys used fMRI but you don't use a radioactive dye with fMRI right no we don't okay so you're not are you getting metabolic activation with that or you're getting more physical structure sort of things so you're getting at it's actually it's interesting because it measures the Delta it actually measures change in blood flow to areas of the brain it's blood flow based got it so I did aspects can a while back and found all sorts of

00:34:03 > strange things about my brain and one of the things that really affects me and a lot of other people is increasing the amount of ketones in the brain so I have a product that that goes straight to ketones it's uh it's called brain octane believe it or not and you know I don't know if you've heard a bulletproof coffee it's a recipe where you use coffee and some butter and all and it's very much about fueling the brain as maximally as possible so you can have glucose and ketones present at the same time in neurons that can't use glucose can use ketones and you get this like focused speed like energy that's amazing it's also amazing in bed because you have literally more mitochondrial activation in the brain I am seriously wondering right now if if orgasms in the presence of ketones whether it's from nutritional intervention or from just adding you know this kind of stuff to your to your diet or to your coffee I'm wondering it have you looked at even like coenzyme q10 and other mitochondrial activators as potential

00:35:05 > orgasm simulators and we haven't done that yet God why not I'm awesome what do you want me to send you a bottle like I am like the master of mitochondrial hacking just because I had my own disorders there that needed fixing okay after the show I'll get address I'll send you some you don't have to ever say anything in public I'm just I personally want to know because my god i'm pretty sure that there's a big relationship there and i never thought of it so we're gonna boost you all of your mitochondrial function as much as possible and put you back in the machine you can you can say if there's a difference because there has to be alright anyway I just thought that and it's cool let's see here I want to make sure we make maximum use of your time we've got like ten more minutes left and I have all these questions to ask what happens in the man's brain during orgasm that's different than the woman's brain I know you focus most of you research on women but else know you've got to study this because you know you're a

00:36:06 > neuroscientist ignore them that yeah um so we're actually just starting to do the male orgasm studies we should just pop the IRB approval for it which is great and and ferry is super excited he was the first subject to go is the MRI which is really funny none of us wanted to go in that day ah I'm just imagining who got to write that IRB application and like who got to review it and they're like mmm okay yeah but I mean what we know so far is that there's actually oh there in terms of the brain phenomenon of what's going on with the brain there's um a lot more similarities than differences so there's not anything that we can say is here is a specific difference between men and women but I think from you know what we've seen experientially with the way that men experience orgasm versus women is that men typically it's a lot easier for meant which achieved the jack ulation or

00:37:07 > to achieve climax versus women I think it's typically more difficult I mean I I had that experience that it was super hard for me to get to climax and only recently have I been able to like finally sink into my body enough to let that happen and I think it's because um you know the cortex just wants to come in and inhibit all of these different things like because really what climax is is going out of control and surrendering completely and I think women have a much more difficult time um but that being said I mean I think men also want to experience a different type of pleasure so they want orgasm and what they've been having is climax you know got it so so it's really good to differentiate between those two in the talks that I've given its really tough with the Western audience because those are almost exactly the same thing and earlier in our discussion you mentioned

00:38:09 > it briefly but can you go into really clear detail on the difference between climax or ejeculate versus orgasm particularly in men so that like they understand yes we understand that the nuance is there sure so what we're saying that orgasm we're basically saying orgasm is the beginning of being in the involuntary so orgasm essentially is arousal so it's when you're sympathetic and your parasympathetic nervous systems are activated you're in the involuntary you get blood flow to your genitals um and you're fully in sensation so that's that's orgasm and then we know that there's all these different stages of orgasm one of them being climax and we also know that in the brain orgasm is is a circuit I mean it's a full brain event and each different place in orgasm there's different parts of the brain that are activated so um climax you know is a Jack ulation so that's just like that's the peak so it's actually this whole

00:39:12 > it's like a wave and climb axis is one piece of it is it peak so are you sort of just redefining sex as orgasm and then you jackal is needed I question because pretty much the it starts as soon as like oh let's go to the bedroom all right like they're a little bit of blood for a little bit of arousal and then like just kind of go up from there it is it that simple um I mean what we're doing i think is redefining orgasm sex i think is so there's a different once you start oming and once you start to cultivate your orgasm the way that you have sex is very different just naturally it becomes a lot slower um and you need a lot less pressure because your body is a lot more sensitive but but essentially what we're doing is is redefining orgasm to to make it a lot bigger to say that the moment your body turns on the moment your involuntary system turns on your you're feeling orgasm in your genitals got it so you

00:40:13 > actually enhanced your sensitivity so it starts earlier okay yeah I think I see the difference there you also talked about not being able to have an orgasm until you gave up control right in that so part of this practice is giving up control because you're not expecting an orgasm other than just pleasure so is it that is that how you giving up control works in this in this practice well so from a from a brain perspective essentially what happens as the cortex comes in and it's the part of the brain that's always sort of like thinking and judging and telling you you know um that your desire is wrong or bad or that you can't have it you know so that's the part that sort of shuts down your involuntary and through oming you actually that part of the brain you know during orgasm that gets turned off during partnered orgasm it turns off so you you're able to control it in a way

00:41:14 > and and what we know is that for women to achieve climax they need to have that part of the brain turned off yeah okay so there are some women who they I don't want to be too crass hair but you know they part of orgasming for those being held down or even like tied up and things like that where like they don't have control and it makes easier for them to orgasm is that coming from that same like neurological need there or is that just kind of like 50 shades of grave weirdness I don't think it's weird i don't i don't think anything's weird i don't trust me i'm not going to judge anything i'm the guy who talks about you know not having orgasms for months on end so it's cool right i think it that sort of goes along with um we have all these different preferences in fact this idea of what it's supposed to look like and needing you know when you're when you're not able to go into your in volunteer you need a lot more pressure like you need more dopamine essentially to be

00:42:17 > able to achieve that climax so then you have to do sort of more and more like risky or sort of out of the ordinary things to be able to get to that place but I think once you start owning um you can take a lot of that goes away because you're able to go into the sensation a lot more quickly and feel a lot more so you don't you don't need a lot of that extra stuff okay that it's sad i mean i think that all of those everything you know the great thing about ohm and one tastes in sort of this community is that everything is accepted and welcomed and it's sort of you you get to play with all these different things there's there's no question lots of people are wired to like lots of different things and and yet none of them are particularly better than others so don't want to imply that all right here's the question that that would be in my brain if I'd listened to this whole this whole podcast so far all right how often

00:43:20 > should women have an orgasm for optimal performance and how often should men oh I think every day daily for both yeah does it vary by age no I don't think so i think i think people should be having orgasm every day okay yourself itself administered or not no no so it here's the other thing and viet we didn't talk about this um one of the things that we're looking at is what's the difference between self-stimulation versus partnered and and it looks like actually in the brain it's different so during partnered orgasm the cortex turns off and 0 ms that's why own as a partner practice you can't take yourself out of control so when you're doing soft stimulation or if you're masturbating you're actually not getting that same relief and you're not getting the limbic connection so so it needs to be partnered to to get full surrender so it's really funny I

00:44:25 > interviewed the CEO of lift this is an app for the iphone where people put habits and for productivity and it reminds you to do it every day and the number one habit right now is floss people try and give themselves credit for flossing and it just occurred to me that maybe like have sex my might be a better habit than flossing I would make that trade-off personally yeah yeah you should get a workout them on their most definitely I think that you need to you need to reach out to him and do that that's hilarious but okay that's cool there's a question that I ask everyone who comes on the show and given everything you've learned not just in neuroscience or orgasm or anything else what are the top three recommendations you have for people give me all of your life lessons that you think they should know in terms of you know performing better being more who they are kicking more ass in the whole nine yards like the most valuable three nuggets ever oh that's huh okay that's good um let's see

00:45:26 > i would say follow your gut follow your desire about that follow your desire that's number one even when everyone else thinks you're crazy follow your desire um number two I would say stay connected stay connected to UM to the people in your life even when it's difficult or even when you you don't want to because we know that connection is the way to actually improve your life and it improve your nervous system and actually train yourself and three i would say um surrender to the things that you um you think that you shouldn't do either that you think are bad or dirty i think you should do them and see what you learn that last one sounds like your brain on sex that that book i know you must have come across a summer yeah got it so so give it a try and i like

00:46:27 > that last one awesome pooja it's it's been a real pleasure hearing about your research and hearing about one taste can you tell people where they can find out more about your research and more about one taste how they could potentially go to a class or learn just how to do this stuff absolutely so our website is one taste o n ETA ste us and you can find information about classes and different offerings that we have on the website and yeah great and if people want to support the university level researcher doing there is there any sort of website or thing they should see or just everything should go to one taste um they can come to one taste or they can they can go to the rutgers website as well and look up the rutgers neuroscience or get them laboratory and beautiful there too hmm thanks it's been so much fun chatting about this keep doing the work you're doing and i'm definitely going to send you some of that brain octane and you've got to tell

me if it makes a difference that you can measure because i just want to know absolutely thank you thanks bye I go toxins in the plant world is there ever yeah they're absolutely everywhere you can try to mitigate them if it's best as possible the first thing is to try to identify all indentify the ones that can really do damage see the head of foam that is formed on it this is similar to what you get with a latte there are actually little bubbles still coming to the surface just like a freshly steamed latte